It may appear as though I lean much more towards the bipolar end of the spectrum than any experience of psychosis. This is by and large true; most of my issues are mood related, not thought distortions. I got heaps more of those when I was in my 20's and early 30's. The past 10 or so years has seen a bit of a levelling out from my psychotic symptoms. Indeed, even the psychosis I had while on my recent hospital meds swap came and went fairly swiftly.
I can't remember the exact dosage levels of the Zyprexa onto the Saphris when I got unwell in hospital, but essentially I went through approximately 72 hours believing that I was;
(1)
The next Messiah; basically I "felt" as I entered the dining hall that everyone was talking in hushed tones about me. I believed that if I ate my meal then the apocalypse would arrive. I ran out of the dining hall crying then howling. Luckily 2 nurses brought me to my room where I recounted my thoughts. I had an hallucination as I was talking that I "heard" and :"felt" a white light come through the roof into my right shoulder blade. It sounded like a tuning fork; a pure singing sound. I thought it was the holy spirit. Then I sat up and declared that I couldn't be the messiah "because the world's got a Whole Lotta Living to Do!!".
the next day i change my tack, instead believing that I was;
(2)
The next Dalai Lama; this was based on some dribble from a co-patient who told me she'd heard that the next Dalai Lama was going to manifest in the form of two women. Mind you she kept hugging me a lot. Plus when I tried to tell her about some of my thoughts she'd bark at me: "First rule about Fight Club: You Do NOT talk about Fight Club!" It's fair to say she was pretty unwell. I guess you get that in a hospital.
unfortunately my delusions took a turn for the worst on the 3rd day;
(3)
I believed I was the spawn of satan. This involved a lot of self-deprecating rubbish along the lines of "I am evil and I deserve to be punished".
So I was pretty glad for all 3 delusions to evaporate, although the Dalai Lama one had some mirth to it.
I can't remember the exact dosage levels of the Zyprexa onto the Saphris when I got unwell in hospital, but essentially I went through approximately 72 hours believing that I was;
(1)
The next Messiah; basically I "felt" as I entered the dining hall that everyone was talking in hushed tones about me. I believed that if I ate my meal then the apocalypse would arrive. I ran out of the dining hall crying then howling. Luckily 2 nurses brought me to my room where I recounted my thoughts. I had an hallucination as I was talking that I "heard" and :"felt" a white light come through the roof into my right shoulder blade. It sounded like a tuning fork; a pure singing sound. I thought it was the holy spirit. Then I sat up and declared that I couldn't be the messiah "because the world's got a Whole Lotta Living to Do!!".
the next day i change my tack, instead believing that I was;
(2)
The next Dalai Lama; this was based on some dribble from a co-patient who told me she'd heard that the next Dalai Lama was going to manifest in the form of two women. Mind you she kept hugging me a lot. Plus when I tried to tell her about some of my thoughts she'd bark at me: "First rule about Fight Club: You Do NOT talk about Fight Club!" It's fair to say she was pretty unwell. I guess you get that in a hospital.
unfortunately my delusions took a turn for the worst on the 3rd day;
(3)
I believed I was the spawn of satan. This involved a lot of self-deprecating rubbish along the lines of "I am evil and I deserve to be punished".
So I was pretty glad for all 3 delusions to evaporate, although the Dalai Lama one had some mirth to it.
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