Depression caused by chronic tiredness

So it's almost winter and here in Melbourne we've had really mild weather the past month, with around 13 days in a row over 20 degrees Celsius.  Helps save on the gas heater bill i guess, but yet another sign of climate change in action.  I felt sorry for the people in the Balkans I saw on the telly in Europe who were flooded; 3 months rain in 3 days or something ridiculous.

Weather extremes, it seems, are here to stay.

My life has been pretty pedestrian of late; since September my sleep apnea has really ramped up; so much so that a typical day since then has been thus;


7am:  Up and have a coffee and a fag

7.30am:  Lie down on the couch for a kip

8.30: Breakfast, brief look at emails etc, take meds

9am: 2nd coffee and fag

9:15:  Morning nap

11am: Maybe shower, maybe not

12noon:  Lunch

12:30:   Afternoon Kip

2.30-3pm: Afternoon coffees and fags

4pm: Late arvo kip

5pm: Chat to Mum on the phone

6pm: Watch the news on telly

7pm: Prepare/Eat Dinner (sometimes this is done prior to 5pm if hungry)

7.30: Telly watch

9pm: Lie on couch while listen to telly; eyes too tired to watch

11pm: In bed (hopefully) with c-pap mask on (which is being bloody useless anyway).


I discussed this routine with my psychologist and she noted that a 90 year old in a nursing home has virtually more vertical activity than do I at present.  This stuck with me; we were discussing my reluctance to use my c-pap mask as I don't like how it feels on my face.

"Imagine how much you don't like missing out on life and sleeping your day away instead" said the psychologist.  So that put a grenade under me and for the past week I have used the blessed mask EVERY night without fail for over 8 hours with no leaks and an average AHI (apnea hourly index; ie; the number of times per hour I stop breathing) of below 10, which is good.  Without the mask it is around 35 times and hour.

So why do I still feel like crap???

One possibility: I have been going to bed very late (midnight-ish).
Second possibility: The pressure on my machine is too low.

I know it may seem obvious: go back to the clinic where you did the study and have your doctor assess your situation.  Hmmmm....    I have a problem because;

- the doctor I saw is no longer at the clinic
- the doctor I saw was unethical and "farmed out" his appointments to trainees; I only ever saw him once.

With this problem at hand I requested all my paperwork from the clinic and went to see a new Sleep Clinician.  He had an unfortunate manner and was quite arrogant, claiming it was not his job to assist me and that furthermore 85% of people complied with wearing masks, inferring some sort of delinquency upon my behalf.  He referred me to a sleep technician who was quick to disregard the 3 masks I already had and equally quick to sell me a newer one, which, admittedly, has been the best fit so far.  However nobody knows the "right" pressure I should be on; a legacy of the former dysfunctional clinic.

Taking matters into my own hands, I googled "Resmed Elite Settings Change" or somesuch; and discovered how to re-set the machine yourself.  There's some slight danger of being over-oxygenated, but not if you adjust minorly and know what signs to look for.

So I'll play doctor for now and see how I go.  If all else fails I go back to the second doctor and have another complete sleep study done.  Ack.

But it is necessary.  I can't write my life off being less active than a 90 year old.  Fucking sucks, that does!