Sigh. What a difference 3 weeks can make: yes, I have been successful in continuing to reduce smoking down to about 16 a day, but my mood has slumped majorly. My psychiatrist has maintained that cigarettes act as a mild anti-depressant all along and now I see his point.
I saw my psychiatrist last week and he is interested in trying a new mood stabiliser on me: Latuda to replace Epilim. He said Latuda is weight-neutral and also has an anti-depressant component to it which might be a safe way to raise my anti-depressant levels.
For those who haven't read previously, ever since I swapped from Zyprexa (I put on 30 kilos) as an anti-psychotic to Saphris (weight neutral) in January 2013, I have struggled with low mood. When my psychiatrist did the hospital-based swapover I had a major manic and psychotic episode and have tried minimal levels of Pristiq, Lexapro and Brintellix since. The levels have to be minimal because the Saphris isn't as sedating as Zyprexa and I react to "normal" anti-depressant" levels while on Saphris by going manic and psychotic.
The net result is that due to low levels of anti-d I have experienced no lift in mood for any sustained period. Maybe feeling ok, even happy for a week maybe then BOOM back down again.
Like this weekend: I put a small wager on a couple of football teams to win, and they did. I doubled my money. I withdrew the bulk of it to safely be back in my bank account and didn't feel elation or happiness. I felt relief. Now I can afford to get my dog clipped. Just deadened emotions.
For anyone else out there who goes through depression regularly, I feel for you. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. It's like the rest of the world is participating and you're encouraged to, told to, quizzed as to why you are on the sidelines.....people want to help you but they just don't get it. Hopefully I can stick fat with reducing the smokes and maybe there'll be a hospital stay soon to jump onto Latuda.
I saw my psychiatrist last week and he is interested in trying a new mood stabiliser on me: Latuda to replace Epilim. He said Latuda is weight-neutral and also has an anti-depressant component to it which might be a safe way to raise my anti-depressant levels.
For those who haven't read previously, ever since I swapped from Zyprexa (I put on 30 kilos) as an anti-psychotic to Saphris (weight neutral) in January 2013, I have struggled with low mood. When my psychiatrist did the hospital-based swapover I had a major manic and psychotic episode and have tried minimal levels of Pristiq, Lexapro and Brintellix since. The levels have to be minimal because the Saphris isn't as sedating as Zyprexa and I react to "normal" anti-depressant" levels while on Saphris by going manic and psychotic.
The net result is that due to low levels of anti-d I have experienced no lift in mood for any sustained period. Maybe feeling ok, even happy for a week maybe then BOOM back down again.
Like this weekend: I put a small wager on a couple of football teams to win, and they did. I doubled my money. I withdrew the bulk of it to safely be back in my bank account and didn't feel elation or happiness. I felt relief. Now I can afford to get my dog clipped. Just deadened emotions.
For anyone else out there who goes through depression regularly, I feel for you. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. It's like the rest of the world is participating and you're encouraged to, told to, quizzed as to why you are on the sidelines.....people want to help you but they just don't get it. Hopefully I can stick fat with reducing the smokes and maybe there'll be a hospital stay soon to jump onto Latuda.
