I have worked out that I have been clinically depressed for almost 3 years now.
I haven't cleaned most of my house in all that time. This means the cheap linoleum floor in my kitchen makes a sticky sound when I walk across it. There are daddy-long-legs cobwebs everywhere. The light switches have grime all over them, as do handles everywhere. The kitchen cupboards are stained with brown streaks of dried liquid such as milk which I've spilled and now it has turned brown. My bathroom is a cesspit of mould. You get the picture: Addams-Family house.
Then there's the garden: tall weeds everywhere. I paid a man to mow the long grass recently. All the plants need pruning desperately.
You'd think I'd have woken up to myself long ago and demanded help from my psychiatrist with my meds. He has tried me on 3 different anti-depressants since January 2013. They haven't worked. It all lies with me being on the Saphris, the antipsychotic he put me on in January 2013. Saphris is the key.
In 2012 I was drinking heavily, and was on Zyprexa. Aside from the drinking I was functioning better than I am now, except the Zyprexa had caused me to gain 15 kilos (which I could ill-afford). My psychiatrist offered me a deal: an anti-psychotic that didn't make me hungry in exchange for me quitting the booze. I said ok, and haven't drunk since Xmas day 2012.
When I was in hospital switching from Zyprexa to Sapphris in January 2013, I had a manic and psychotic episode. My doctor later explained that the Saphris didn't have the sedative qualities that the Zyprexa did so as a result I had to be on a slightly lower dose of anti-depressant. I am highly sensitive to having too much anti-depressant, despite being on Lithium 1000mg; Epilim 1500 mg and Saphris 25 mg. Not even 10mg Lexapro and 20mg of Brintellix has helped. This has seen my mood dive since March 2013 when the last of the mania wore off.
I accept that I can't "demand" an increase in anti-depressant from my psychiatrist; he calls the shots. But my life has become worse and worse. I am not coping. Sometimes I think about overdosing on pills, but I know I can't. But this is hell.
I haven't cleaned most of my house in all that time. This means the cheap linoleum floor in my kitchen makes a sticky sound when I walk across it. There are daddy-long-legs cobwebs everywhere. The light switches have grime all over them, as do handles everywhere. The kitchen cupboards are stained with brown streaks of dried liquid such as milk which I've spilled and now it has turned brown. My bathroom is a cesspit of mould. You get the picture: Addams-Family house.
Then there's the garden: tall weeds everywhere. I paid a man to mow the long grass recently. All the plants need pruning desperately.
You'd think I'd have woken up to myself long ago and demanded help from my psychiatrist with my meds. He has tried me on 3 different anti-depressants since January 2013. They haven't worked. It all lies with me being on the Saphris, the antipsychotic he put me on in January 2013. Saphris is the key.
In 2012 I was drinking heavily, and was on Zyprexa. Aside from the drinking I was functioning better than I am now, except the Zyprexa had caused me to gain 15 kilos (which I could ill-afford). My psychiatrist offered me a deal: an anti-psychotic that didn't make me hungry in exchange for me quitting the booze. I said ok, and haven't drunk since Xmas day 2012.
When I was in hospital switching from Zyprexa to Sapphris in January 2013, I had a manic and psychotic episode. My doctor later explained that the Saphris didn't have the sedative qualities that the Zyprexa did so as a result I had to be on a slightly lower dose of anti-depressant. I am highly sensitive to having too much anti-depressant, despite being on Lithium 1000mg; Epilim 1500 mg and Saphris 25 mg. Not even 10mg Lexapro and 20mg of Brintellix has helped. This has seen my mood dive since March 2013 when the last of the mania wore off.
I accept that I can't "demand" an increase in anti-depressant from my psychiatrist; he calls the shots. But my life has become worse and worse. I am not coping. Sometimes I think about overdosing on pills, but I know I can't. But this is hell.
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