It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

So says the Michael Buble version of a Bing Crosby song in an ad which is being shown a lot here. The decorations are in the shops, the festive ads are on the telly, the supermarkets are selling mince pies and plum puddings and giant smoked hams....it's the festive season.....and it's still NOVEMBER!!!!

It's belting down a tropical-like rain this Saturday morning; with the odd thunder rolling along. My dog is non-plussed by thunder and lightning, in fact sometimes she barks at it. Brave little furry soul. I slept on the couch till 10am, having got up at the usual 7am; I think thats ingrained now, which is good, particularly for job hunting. I found out the the speaking engagements I've been doing have been largely wrapped up till May next year. So it's Centrelink (social security) alone for me, for now.

I bought all my Xmas presents the other day, all 16 of them; over half for family members I only see on Xmas day; it's ridiculous. I wish my fucked-up family had a Kris Kringle policy; it would be so much easier. So I went to the $2 shop and got everything for under $100; I got some odd presents (eg: a giant calculator for my Dad) and some inspired ones (a rock-like key hider for my brother-in-law). At the end of the day it's a gesture. Nobody ever gets grouse presents in our family due to there being so many to buy for (stepfamilies and their families). I suppose its not the point of Xmas, presents. The important thing is to share a nice meal and conversation with your extended family, right? And be grateful for what one has, right?

My Mum is hosting the umpteenth Xmas at her house, which I think is unfair. My house is too small to cope with the dozen or so people from my stepfather's side. My step brother and step sister have never offered to host Xmas once. Never. In over 20 years. My sister has done so a few times; she's packing up with her family to get to their holiday house by the beach, where they will spend Xmas day. Which leaves my 76 year old mother to host: she says she's doing a buffet self-serve. I've offered to make some salads. I hope my step siblings have the decency to offer to bring food; they probably will.

My Dad I hope I get to see on Xmas day, but he's usually disorganised and lets me know where and when at the last minute. He expects a present with a high dollar value; he'll be in for a shock this year!

I'm spending Xmas night with my friend Paula who has no family; she's inviting friends to drop in all day for a casual meal. I'll bring leftovers from Mum's house; it'll be nice to relax with a friend and just chill. Diana will spend it with her best friend Jen and her family, as both her parents are deceased and her brothers like to spend it with their families.

So what does Xmas mean to you? Stress? Enjoyment? Memories? Mourning? Loneliness? Togetherness? Gratitude?

I guess for me it means all of the above.